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Rebrand Sam Edits-03

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🤟🏻 enough to post this awful clashing color

🤟🏻 enough to post this awful clashing color scheme and even when you scream bloody murder while your dad takes photos of just me. 🙃🙃

The other night, Brandon and I got into an argumen

The other night, Brandon and I got into an argument about responsibilities, about how I shouldn’t have to ask him to do certain things when it comes to the house and parenting.

The root of it was the invisible weight I feel I carry as a mom. The daily responsibilities of working full time, running my own business, and being mama to a kiddo with additional needs. The guilt that I feel in even asking for help, because it’s engrained in me that I should carry more responsibility for whatever reason.

At one point he said, “Well you don’t ask me to help.”

I snapped and said, “Do you know how to make his doctor appointments? Do you know how to contact his speech therapist? Can you set up his sign language mentoring? Do you know how to pay a medical bill or argue with insurance?”

And he said, “No, because you don’t give me the chance.”

And I was like OH. I really don’t. I can’t, because that means surrendering that control. My mindset is that it’s easier if I do it myself, because it’s one less step to check in to see if someone else did it and did it correctly.

Then yesterday, I was listening to @glennondoyle new podcast and this was the EXACT topic. I found myself literally agreeing out loud as she and her sister spoke about how resentment builds, about how carrying this weight is done out of love, but the people on the other end start to feel the opposite of love because of the resentment. That when someone offers to take something off your list, it’s natural to get frustrated because YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MAKES AND MANAGES THE ENTIRE DAMN LIST.

And damn if that isn’t true. So here’s to *trying* to delegate, to realizing I play a role in creating my own stress and frustration, to realizing I don’t have to carry the whole damn world on one set of shoulders.

Spirited. That’s what we’re gonna call this st

Spirited. That’s what we’re gonna call this stage. Spirited. 😅

It’s been…a week. Ear infections and needing t

It’s been…a week. Ear infections and needing tubes, differing opinions from various professionals (love them all just hard to juggle), then making the choice to switch daycares due to overstimulation and decreased wear time with his implants.

But I’m proud of myself. Being this little boys mama has made me more steadfast in standing my ground for him.

Here’s the thing…I’ve never subscribed to “eyes open, ears on” and I. NEVER. WILL. His body, his choice what senses to stimulate. Yes, I will redirect him and sneak his implants back on a few minutes after he’s taken them off. But I will never tell him “no” when he removes them. I will never force him into a world he wants a break from. He will grow up with resources and choices and knowledge that he has been given both of those.

Advocating — figuring out which battles to fight — is draining. But I’ll do it day in and day out for this sweet boy until he can stand his own ground.

Did I tell you baby, You are the joy of my life.

Did I tell you baby,
You are the joy of my life.

Kicked the day off with Murph! Murph: 1 mile ru

Kicked the day off with Murph!

Murph:

1 mile run
100 pull-ups
200 push-ups
300 air squats
1 mile run

Named for Lt Michael Murphy

Swipe to see Coop’s last few years of Murph! 2019 in the belly and 2020 in the arms.