Time is a funny thing. At points, it feels like these 6 months with Cooper in the world and the 5 months since his hearing loss diagnosis have flown by. At other times, it feels like it has slowed everything in our lives and it’s hard to remember a “before.”

When we decided to go the cochlear implant route, our ENT told us that once Coop hit 6 months, we could possibly start the process of insurance approval. She said that often, even though doctors will do the cochlear implant surgery at 6 months, insurance pushes for the child to be one year. Because of this back and forth, she told us that kids often end up being implanted around 9 or 10 months. So, it was always loosely in our minds that surgery could be this summer if everything went smoothly.

However, at Coop’s 6-month appointment, she told us his surgery would likely be around one year (so in September) because he is small in size for his age.

My initial reaction was disappointment, but that quickly dissipated to just feeling torn in general. On one hand, we get 6 more months of this version of our baby, the version that only knows silence, the version we’ve grown to love so much. On the other, we lost a few months where we could have been working with him day in and day out to begin understanding sound.

But if this experience has taught me anything, it’s that things don’t necessarily go according to plan. We knew a later surgery was potentially going to be the case, and obviously we trust his surgeon to make that call.

Our next step is for Coop to have a CT in mid-May, which will allow his surgeon to see his specific ear anatomy and plan for surgery accordingly. Of course, the anxious part of myself is terrified that they’ll find something that won’t make surgery possible at all, even though there is no reason to feel that. His MRI already confirmed his candidacy. But when you’re a mom, you just find every possible worry, as I’m sure many of you know.

So for now…We soak in this time we still have before Coop is overwhelmed with newness (and before we are as well). For now, we hurry up and wait. And that’s more than okay.